Birthdays, Funerals, and one's Inheritance

I feel a need to rant.

I understand the need to attend a funeral to pay one's respects - both to the deceased and to the living  with whom we feel close. Absolutely.

But when one's special needs SISTER is turning 70 (a date you've known ALL of HER life and you've known for two weeks that her birthday party was on 1/18/19), there needs to be some thoughtful decision-making consideration going on in one's BRAIN. aka "Our sister is still alive and her birthday party starts at 6 pm so we need to be there for her because she is expecting us." Makes sense to me. (But since she's retarded, she will never know we are late. Right? No. Not right. This thinking about the sister you clearly do not know very well. Her life evolves around calendars and clocks.)

I get that your friend (or should I say your son's friend's dad) passed away. I do.

But in the big scheme of things - as in LIFE ...

Oh, what the hell. You know what I'm talking about, so I'm not going to pussy-foot around. What the fuck were you thinking? Oh, that's right. You weren't because you never do. If you were, it wasn't about your LIVING special needs sister - whose LIFE is connected to your future inheritance because our parents left everything to her. No, it was the perception of your son's friend's family whose father passed away. Process that for a minute. For a dead man's family you were late and ignored your living sister.

So you know, Judy noticed. Her feelings were hurt because you were late. Once you arrived, you pretty much ignored her, spending most of your time talking to Dr. Dan and Rebecca. She had looked forward to introducing you to her counselor and all of her friends, but you weren't there at 6 pm, or 6:15, or 6:30, and it was time to sit down and order drinks and dinner.

In true Ginny Howland form, Judy thanked you for your gift to her - a beautiful CZ pendant (without a necklace - and of course she started thinking about how she could wear it).  So thoughtful of you - to give her a gift that I would be tasked with how she could put it to use. Very thoughtful. Thank you for that.

....

In 2002, our parents made a special trip to my house in Kings Charter to deliver their wills, trusts, and to explain their intentions upon their passing.

"No! Please don't do this!" I begged them not to do what they were doing. THREE trustees. Please DON'T.

But they did.

For Judy's sake, they were wise. Because they knew I would make sure their wishes were fulfilled. I will - and I am.

But you two - and your wives - are out of the loop. You are clueless how hard it is to manage her life and your "votes" as they pertain to our parents' affairs.

So many mistakes, so little time. And when OUR time comes, I hope and pray your children are better at this than we are.