It's finally here. The first week of a few days off from teaching. I'm not sure who - in their infinite wisdom - decided the teaching schedule for the last several years, but they have really done a number on teacher "down" time. Since school started, we haven't had one single day off. And then we teach for three weeks and have two weeks off. Then we go four months - well, three and 1/2 months with only one day off (MLK Day).
I'm looking forward to not teaching on Thursday and Friday, but to be honest, this is going to be a difficult week. Mom's first "holiday" in the nursing home - and we have no idea how we are going to cope with it. The "easy" part will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner - thought I've never done it before. Yes, I've cooked for Christmas, but then I had a couple three days to prepare for that. This year, I have 1/2 day off - well, by the time I hit NN it will be dinner time on Wed, if I am lucky, and then I will cook a Thanksgiving dinner for five people. It might as well be for one or for 20, by the time you do all the stuff for the meal, the easy part is setting the table.
This year, however, will not be easy without Mom. I miss her. I know Dad and Judy do too, and that is harder than anything.
Maybe - just maybe - we can bring her home one day for a meal. Wouldn't that be lovely?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Did you ever know that you are my heroes?
At almost 57 years old, I don't think I've ever told my parents this, but it's true. They are 86 and 88 years old, and they have been role models to so many people - including all of us "kids" but to many, many others as well. And my sister, Judy, is a hero beyond measure. She is better equipped than any of us to deal with life's circumstances, even more than my parents.
When they learned that Judy was "mentally retarded" and that she had Downs Syndrome, they began a life-long passion to improve the circumstances of not only their daughter, but all others in that situation. My parents were forerunners in the field, so to speak. My mom was an avid parent advocate and mentor to so many other parents who found themselves with a disabled child; my father gave his time, money, expertise, and soul to improving the centers where Judy went to school, work, and play. As parents, of course they wanted the best for their children in all ways, but Judy was/is special in more ways than I can count.
Together, my parents spoke, attended, gave, debated, founded, purchased, drove, donated, fretted, loved whatever they could for or to causes on behalf of the educationally, mentally and physically challenged - and as a result, they have been rewarded with a daughter who understands more and better what is happening in her world. Judy is better equipped than all of us to deal with our mother's Alzheimer's. Judy has been surrounded by people all her life whose disabilities are greater than her own. Judy has never felt disabled - because she isn't. She may not be able to drive a car or pay her own bills, but she understands the human spirit better than all of us.
I love them all more than I can say. My Judy, my Mom, my Dad - they are my reason for living. They give me strength beyond measure. They make me want to be a better person. What better reasons to idolize them and call them heroes?
When they learned that Judy was "mentally retarded" and that she had Downs Syndrome, they began a life-long passion to improve the circumstances of not only their daughter, but all others in that situation. My parents were forerunners in the field, so to speak. My mom was an avid parent advocate and mentor to so many other parents who found themselves with a disabled child; my father gave his time, money, expertise, and soul to improving the centers where Judy went to school, work, and play. As parents, of course they wanted the best for their children in all ways, but Judy was/is special in more ways than I can count.
Together, my parents spoke, attended, gave, debated, founded, purchased, drove, donated, fretted, loved whatever they could for or to causes on behalf of the educationally, mentally and physically challenged - and as a result, they have been rewarded with a daughter who understands more and better what is happening in her world. Judy is better equipped than all of us to deal with our mother's Alzheimer's. Judy has been surrounded by people all her life whose disabilities are greater than her own. Judy has never felt disabled - because she isn't. She may not be able to drive a car or pay her own bills, but she understands the human spirit better than all of us.
I love them all more than I can say. My Judy, my Mom, my Dad - they are my reason for living. They give me strength beyond measure. They make me want to be a better person. What better reasons to idolize them and call them heroes?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Kind young people
First day back from Spring Break. Dreaded it since 2 am when I awoke the first time, at 3:30, at 4:30, 5:30, then 6:15 am when the alarm finally sounded - and finally arrived at school at my usual 8:07 am in ordinary teacher attire. I was already tired when I arrived at school this morning. But something was very different.
Several students walked in and said "you did something to your hair." I wondered is that a good thing or just an observation. "You look 20 years younger." OMG. They made my day. One kid after another walked in to my room and made a comment about my appearance today.
The grey was gone. I have new glasses that sparkle in the light. I have a cute haircut (had that before break but nobody really noticed before the hair color job that I did myself the first day of vacation). So, it was an uplifting sort of day, considering how I was dreading it before I actually got here.
Then, instead of having to teach my English classes today, Sheryl Gibson - the best drama teacher on the planet - scheduled today as "preview day" for the musical. What was she thinking creating that kind of work for herself on the first day back from vacation? But it was good - actually, as the day went on, it was great. Considering the kids have been working on the show for three months, but had a week off (with only two rehearsals to prepare for their peers today), it was darn good! What a gift to the whole school. Loved it.
And the newspaper kids stepped it up today and got cracking on their 4th edition of the paper; yearbook kids realized 42 days, 30 for seniors, and we'll be done for the year.
So yep. Dread turned out okay. Better than okay. I just might be able to pull this year off with some positive vibes before it's all said and done, and that, my cyber friends, is a really good thing.
Several students walked in and said "you did something to your hair." I wondered is that a good thing or just an observation. "You look 20 years younger." OMG. They made my day. One kid after another walked in to my room and made a comment about my appearance today.
The grey was gone. I have new glasses that sparkle in the light. I have a cute haircut (had that before break but nobody really noticed before the hair color job that I did myself the first day of vacation). So, it was an uplifting sort of day, considering how I was dreading it before I actually got here.
Then, instead of having to teach my English classes today, Sheryl Gibson - the best drama teacher on the planet - scheduled today as "preview day" for the musical. What was she thinking creating that kind of work for herself on the first day back from vacation? But it was good - actually, as the day went on, it was great. Considering the kids have been working on the show for three months, but had a week off (with only two rehearsals to prepare for their peers today), it was darn good! What a gift to the whole school. Loved it.
And the newspaper kids stepped it up today and got cracking on their 4th edition of the paper; yearbook kids realized 42 days, 30 for seniors, and we'll be done for the year.
So yep. Dread turned out okay. Better than okay. I just might be able to pull this year off with some positive vibes before it's all said and done, and that, my cyber friends, is a really good thing.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Countdown... one more day
One more day of freedom from burdensome thoughts. One more day of life as a sister, daughter, mommy of three pets, homeowner, gardener, cook, shopper, housekeeper, attic organizer, garage assembly person, toilet scrubber, fridge manager, trash putter outer. Yep.
Almost time to put on the teacher hat again - and figure out how to make the next nine weeks special for 147 young people. Make that 1676 young people, their parents, the faculty - a school awaiting an anniversary edition of the yearbook and two more issues of the newspaper. And grades. For the 3rd nine weeks, the 4th nine weeks, the semester and year. And 37 Quill and Scroll-eligible young people and their parents. Gifts and awards. Lesson plans and days of upside down schedules.
Too much to do.
Almost time to put on the teacher hat again - and figure out how to make the next nine weeks special for 147 young people. Make that 1676 young people, their parents, the faculty - a school awaiting an anniversary edition of the yearbook and two more issues of the newspaper. And grades. For the 3rd nine weeks, the 4th nine weeks, the semester and year. And 37 Quill and Scroll-eligible young people and their parents. Gifts and awards. Lesson plans and days of upside down schedules.
Too much to do.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Spring Break 2012
Whoa. Almost over. Bummer. Not as productive as I would have preferred, but very relaxing, just the same. I've been trying to find my "center" again, but I don't know that it will ever be the same as it once was.
I think I'm coming to the realization that my parents have been my center all of my life, and now that Mom is declining and Dad is lonely, I have to find a new "center" - the place where I go in my mind to find peace and motivation.
These two things are must-haves in my world, and they are eluding me this year. Just when I think I've found the place, I can't seem to stay there long enough to accomplish my goals. Oh, I am still making the lists - just not checking them off as fast as I would like.
One day, maybe, I can reconnect, but for now, it's just brief moments of energy. Otherwise, it's mostly sadness for my parents, whose lives have been so full of giving and now there's not much left.
I think I'm coming to the realization that my parents have been my center all of my life, and now that Mom is declining and Dad is lonely, I have to find a new "center" - the place where I go in my mind to find peace and motivation.
These two things are must-haves in my world, and they are eluding me this year. Just when I think I've found the place, I can't seem to stay there long enough to accomplish my goals. Oh, I am still making the lists - just not checking them off as fast as I would like.
One day, maybe, I can reconnect, but for now, it's just brief moments of energy. Otherwise, it's mostly sadness for my parents, whose lives have been so full of giving and now there's not much left.
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