I absolutely love this book and movie.
I grew up from 1955-1973 as a Southern woman and an Army officer's daughter and could easily have been that "ugly baby" that Abilene told "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." I loved our maids. They were nannies to us. They cleaned, they cooked, and they took care of us kids when mom and dad traveled.
When we lived in the States, mom always had a maid, and they dressed the same as the women in this movie. Because we moved so much and I was too young, I don't remember their names from 1955-1965.
I remember when we lived in Germany in the early 60s, we had German maids that didn't last long with mom because she treated them badly. They never did what she asked them to, and they stole stuff from her as she told it. When we lived in Montgomery, Alabama for about 9 months 1964-65, mom struggled to keep a maid - and we were in school most of that time. So I don't remember those maids at all. In 1965, when we moved to Alexandria VA for a few years, Dad went to Vietnam. That's when we had Mrs. Kerr.
I remember Mrs. Kerr from 1965-69. She wasn't a maid. She was our nanny and cook. And she was white. She had been our neighbor when we first lived in Alexandria in the late 50s, and she was a cafeteria lady at an elementary school by day. She loved us like we were her own grandchildren.
The second trip to Germany, I don't remember the maids. They were short-lived again, probably same story as the first time around.
When we returned to the states in 1971, I was 15. These I remember the most. I remember the two black maids mom had in Newport News. Geneva (1971-1981) at the Capt. John Smith Road house in Riverside. She rode the bus that dropped her off at the house - three days a week for 11 years. She had a silver polishing day, a bathroom and sheets day, and window washing day. Every day she dusted and vacuumed. When our parents moved to York County, Geneva didn't drive, and the bus didn't come to York County, so mom had to let her go.
Then there was Evelyn (1981-1994) mom hired because she could drive. If I'm not mistaken, Dad bought Evelyn a car so she could drive herself to York County, and stayed on when they moved back to Newport News. She retired at 75 years old. Mom continued to take gifts and food to Evelyn for every birthday (hers, her children's, her grandchildren's) and holidays, and our parents paid for her funeral. She was a family member.
And then Pat - who is white. She was in her 60s when she started with our parents in 1995. Two days a week. Wednesday and Friday. Pat became Dad's lifeline for the years of mom's Alzheimers and nursing home time. Pat continued to clean and take care of an unoccupied house after Judy and Dad moved to Richmond. Phil and Jeanie let her go when they moved in 2016.
What I remember over my family's lifetime - and what this book/movie revealed to me was the reality I experienced as my mother's daughter. She was a southern woman, born in 1926, died in 2013, an Army wife, and because my father was an officer, Mom had to learn in 1944 how not to be prejudice, how not to treat the help in her southern ways.
She got better at it over the years, but by the end, she knew how badly she had treated the women who made her life as a wife and mother work, and she tried desperately to make it up to them all by her care of Evelyn, and ultimately, our father's care of Pat.
Dad (when he retired in the 80s and participated more in the household management), made sure that both Evelyn and Pat had social security - by assisting them in filing their taxes and paying their social security - which I continued for Pat until 2016 - and she eventually retired with a pension, of sorts.
So this book and movie have had a huge impact on me as I review the "day to day" lives of my parents, and now mine. I am mindful of whatever "help" I can get, and those who serve me and my house will get their just rewards for their service in my house. It may have taken a lifetime of service for my parents to figure it out, but I am a quick learner - and they taught me well.
I can't say how much I appreciate those who have helped me over the last four years, and knowing that I will need them more in the coming ones, I am thankful for their service to help me and Judy make our lives better.
The book/movie "The Help" left me with this message: What our predecessors did was unconscionable how they treated their "help" - I am embarrassed by most of it, and humbled by my father's insistence that we have to remedy it. As we all should.
I love having a "maid." She is not that to me, and she knows it. She is my housekeeper. She makes my house work. And I couldn't do it without her!
